Desperation for answers (Sunday, January 27, 2008 / 11:22 PM)
I am totally desperate for answers. Answers that are needed for my future life.
Nowadays things are not how I want it to be. My mom said, "I give you until March".My dream just burst out into ashes after many nasty people destroy it. I wonder, what do they want from me? What exactly, did I do to make them do that? I never poke my nose into their lives. And why mine? I hope my dream do come thru, or I will be with the dead.
It's hard for me to believe what I am now. The world just came crushing down on me and my dreams.Things are not expected as I want them to be. But at least, by showing my happy face to others will make them think that I am happy and everything is in place. - But the truth is... It's not!For that, I want to thank those people who destroy it for me. Working life, is hard as it sounds. It's harder to imagine when people who you trusted betray you like as if you are a "piece of shit". Those who betray me are those people who are not guilty on their own sin. They are the ones who self-proclaim themselves as "Angels". My many thanks will make people wonder... But to me, it's a realization of what's the world is holding up.
I don't even care if people were talking about me. Bad or good, it doesn't matter. They are who they are. They are what they are. I cannot change that on them. But I can change me for me. I don't hate them and I don't have to betray them. All I have to do is to be sorry for them. My only hope for now is to wish that THINGS WILL GET BETTER. If it does, that time, I WILL THANK ALLAH for every thing. Everything that ALLAH make me go thru with my strength and weakness. It's a lesson I am willing to take in life with my family and loveones. 
I don't believe in friends - not as much I used too.... They are just like clouds below... half day and half night.
Till then, Ain
